Kyou knocked on Tatsumaki's door. There was no answer. She knocked another three times. Nothing. She tried jiggling the door handle, but the door was locked. In anger, she kicked the door down. She saw Tatsumaki, sleeping in a heap on his bed.
Not only did I knock six times, but I destroyed his door. This guy can sleep through anything.
Kyou walked over to her sleeping boyfriend and lifted her fist, preparing to punch him in his ribs. She stopped herself, and smiled.
Ah, what the hell.
She lied on top of Tatsumaki and kissed his cheek.
"Wake up, you little idiot."
Tatsumaki slowly opened his eyes. She saw Kyou lying on top of him. He blushed and jumped out of bed.
"K-Kyou! What are you doing?"
"Waking your ass up. You're gonna be late."
"You could have just knock-"
He saw his door on the ground.
"You kicked my door down? Dude, I am screwed."
"Calm down, I'll fix it."
Kyou bent down and picked up the door. It took almost all of what Tatsumaki had to keep him from looking up her skirt. He remembered how much she hated perverts. Kyou easily picked up the door and jammed back into place.
"Get dressed, we're going."
Tatsumaki and Kyou walked out of the dorm room. They stared at each other. Tatsumaki sighed, and held his hand out to her.
"Here," he said.
"What's up?"
"Do you, you know, wanna... hold hands?"
Kyou smirked and grabbed Tatsumaki's arm.
"We're going out now. We need to advertise."
"I, uh, well..."
Kyou placed her hand on Tatsumaki's mouth.
"Shut up. Start walking."
"Alright."
Kyou was holding Tatsumaki's arm throughout the entire day. Even when they were eating lunch, they still had their arms locked. After school, the two sat down on a bench. Kyou was snuggling up to Tatsumaki.
"Mmm... this feels nice."
"Yeah, it does."
"You know something, Botan has been acting weird lately."
"She is?"
"Yeah."
The two noticed Botan walking around the area. She was swaying a bit, and had a reddened face.
"What's wrong with her?" Tatsumaki asked.
"I don't know. She's been acting like this all week."
"Now that I think of it, she looks... familiar..."
"Familiar?"
"Uh huh. I think she might be... in love."
"In love? How would you know if she was in love?"
"Remember when I had a crush on you? I was sort of acting like that."
Kyou noticed Botan walk off into the bushes.
"Maybe we should follow her."
Tatsumaki and Kyou slowly followed the Uriko as she made her way into a clearing. She spied from a nearby bush. They were surprised to see a second boar walk out into the clearing. He was a dashing, young pig. His eyes glowed in the sunlight, and his fur was black and natural. Botan's face began to turn more and more red as she stared at his majesty.
Tatsumaki smiled.
"I knew it. She is in love."
"Congrats. What now?"
"I think we should help her out."
"Hmm.... good idea. We'll help her. And by us, I mean you."
"What? Why me?"
"Because, you're a guy. You can help her with guy trouble, right?"
"Fine, I'll help her."
--
The next day, Botan and Tatsumaki sat alone on the same bench.
"Alright- first thing you want to do is impress him."
"Puhi?"
"Yes. Correct. Try some posing. We dudes go crazy for that stuff."
Botan nodded, and walked back to the clearing. Tatsumaki watched from behind a tree. Botan noticed the pig walk back to the clearing. Botan remembered the Tatsumaki's advice, and began to strike her pose. She balanced on one foot and held a hand to her head, as if trying to act seductive. Unfortunately, she could not keep her balance and landed flat on her face. Tatsumaki slapped his head and groaned.
This is gonna take some work...
--
"Alright... try talking to him. But don't get too into the conversation, you might 'boar' him. Get it? Boar him?"
Botan looked up, unamused.
"Never mind."
--
Once again, Tatsumaki watched Botan make her move from behind a tree. Botan walked over to the male boar and began her conversation. Tatsumaki watched in awe- he couldn't understand anything that they were saying.
"Puhi puhi?"
"Puhi puhi puhi."
"Puhi?"
"Puhi."
"Puhi puhi... puhi?"
"....Puhi."
Botan had a shocked look on her face. Tatsumaki didn't know what had happened, but her expression proved failure. Botan slowly walked away in sadness.
"Botan, don't give me that look."
"Puhi puhi....?"
"Huh? What do you mean, 'puhi puhi'? You can do it. This piggy seems like it requires the direct approach. It seems like you tried to impress him a bit too much."
Botan's eyes widened.
"....I guess I can speak Puhi."
--
For the final time, Botan walked over to the clearing. She went over to the male pig one last time.
"Puhi puhi... puhi puhi puhi?"
"....Puhi."
Tatsumaki thought he felt a tear slip from his eye at what he saw. The two uriko's began snuggling in the middle of the clearing.
And at that point, I felt like the one hole that had always been empty in my life... had finally been filled. Wait... why am I narrating?
--
"So you finally set those two up, huh?" Kyou asked the next day.
"Yeah, took a while, but we finally did it it together..."
"I decided to name the little guy Kagari. Cute, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
Kyou slowly kissed Tatsumaki on his lips, as the two urikos snuggled in the clearing.